Best Actress, TV Comedy
Meh. Mary-Louise Parker, cuz I hate those Housewives.
Winner: Yay! I hear this show is great. What’s her deal, tho? Chris Rock was funny! “Yeah, that was really funny.” Girlfriend is loaded. Pretty dress, tho. For those keeping track at home, that’s the first shout-out to John Spencer. 5 for 10.

Is it wrong that I don’t want to see Pride and Prejudice? It isn’t? Excellent!

Best Actor, Mini-Series or Made-for-TV Movie
What’s with all the winter white and Victorian frilliness? Kate Beckinsale, you look like a feather! Ed Harris, Empire Falls. I’m not being fooled again.
Winner: For the love of fuck! I can’t win! Wait! Jon Rhys-Myers is Irish? Colour me stunned! 5 for 11.

Best Actress, Mini-Series or Made-for-TV Movie
Oh, I love me some Kelly MacDonald. She’s lovely. She won’t win, but I really hope she does. Her accent is so fantastic!
Winner: Now Lackawanna Blues wins! Sheesh! S. Epatha Merkerson is a wonderful actress. I have this movie on my Replay. I’m totally watching it now. Well, not right now. You know what I mean. 5 for 12.

Nice beard, Colin Firth. Very roguish! My neighbour C and I are going to see Match Point any time now. I’ve never seen a Woody Allen movie before. I’m hoping I won’t hate it.

Best Screenplay
What’s going on with Harrison Ford’s voice? He's really starting to show his age. Brokeback Mountain, even though it’s going to Crash!
Winner: Wha? I got one? Who knew? Did I mention that I saw this movie? It was lovely. Again, a little heavy-handed, but nice all the same. I don’t care what they say, I love Heath and Michelle together. Matilda is such a lovely baby name. It is original and common at the same time, and screams Aussie. I don’t know why. Tilley hats, maybe?  6 for 13.

Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy
Oh, Jill. That is so not a nice dress. Way too many directions in there. Is it too much to ask for My Name is Earl to win?
Winner: It certainly is. Desperate Housewives. Man, I hate these women. See, Dad, making me watch an E! True Hollywood Story on these woman has only made me more bitter. 6 for 14.

Best Foreign-Language Film
Um, the South African one?
Winner: The Palestinian one, Paradise Now. 6 for 15.

Did Viggo just kiss a man? Sexy!

Original Score
BrokebackMountain?
Winner: John Williams, Memoirs of a Geisha. It’s a shame I already took my shower, cuz we’re in the lull time. 6 for 16. Good lordy.

Original Song
The Producers, of course.
Winner: BrokebackMountain? Really? I suck at predicting things at the spur of the moment. 6 for 17. Is it bedtime yet?

Cecil B. DeMille award. Here we go. Let me blog this part in advance.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s pregnant? I’d have never guessed! Lovely dress. Too bad about the bra-strap slip. Anthony Hopkins has sure been in a lot of movies. "Clarice!" Zzzzz. . . .

To be continued . . .