It’s been a bit of a struggle to get out of this bed this weekend. Maybe the eight wool blankets, comforters and quilts I have on it to battle the winter chill (yes, it was 20 degrees warmer than usual this week, what’s your point?) have finally flattened my body to such a degree that I have no muscles left?

With that in mind, allow me to present my favourite quotes from last week’s Scrubs, a show I now realize I’ve missed so hard it hurts.

From My Day at the Races

JD: “Look, I can’t just un-eVite everyone. I’ve already got two eYesses and 24 eMaybes—that’s a lot of eSponses!”

Turk (referring to JD’s “30 things to do before I turn 30” list): “Dude, you haven’t done anything on this list. How could you never have slept naked on a hammock?"
JD: “I’m afraid of dragonflies.”

Elliot (describing her sexual fantasy to her boyfriend): “Oh! If there’s a crow in there, fine; if not . . . I can live with it.”

From My Jiggly Ball

JD: “I’m gonna need you to go back in here and use some form of the word ‘die.’ ‘Dead,’ ‘dying,’ ‘deadsies,’ ‘deadwood.’ Your choice.”
Keith the Intern: “What was the middle one?”
JD: “Deadsies.”

Dr. Kelso: “Due to lack of funding, I’m shutting down our babymobile, which means there will no longer be prenatal care for underprivileged women. Bottom line: If you’re thinking about knocking up a homeless gal, I’d do it this weekend.”

Janitor: “You’re a bit of a know-it-all, aren’t you?”
JD: “Well, I know a lot.”
Janitor: “Yeah? Who was Deep Throat?”
JD: “Mark Felt, the FBI guy. It’s been all over the news for months.”
Janitor: “Well, sorry, rich boy. My TV doesn’t get the news. Just the Bible Channel and some kind of Chinese boxing.”

Elliot (on phone to a patient): “Yeah, I think I know this guy. Is he a cocky black doctor with a white doctor looking at him like he’s in love?”
JD (to Turk): “You would make a pretty girl.”

Nurse at Free Clinic: “Dr. Cole just got stabbed in the parking lot and we’re out of gauze. Is it cool if I take lunch?”

Elliot: “I’m proud? Carla, after the wedding you wouldn’t even take Turk’s name!”
Carla “I use it for official things.”
Elliot: “Letting him call you ‘Mrs. Turk’ in bed isn’t official.”

And that, my friends, is why I’m laying in bed at noon on a Sunday and not a writing sitcoms.

I kinda had a feeling this would happen. Hope it turns out to be true. Or, in the words of Hermes: "Up yours. Up where your species traditionally crams things."

I've been listening to The Adam Carolla Show on the KLSX stream out of L.A. for the past two mornings. Not bad so far. Loads of commercials, which does not lend itself to office listening, as people only seem to come in/call during the actual show and leave me all alone to listen to the ads. I think I may need to tape and cut the commercials if I'm going to become a regular listener. I miss Loveline.

Scrubs rocked my world last night. As much as I missed it over the last few months, I am thrilled to be able to watch two episodes back to back. Janitor and those J.D. cutouts damn near killed me. Hah! And I know they make fun of Jordan's plastic surgery, but she's really starting to look like she's had a nasty facelift. Christa Miller is only 41! C'mon! Stop messing with yourself!

I know, I know, Carly. So cliché. So sue me.

Do I even remember how to do this? It’s been a while since I posted, but a snowy, quiet last-day-of-2005-esque day like today feels right for getting back into it.

10. What Not to Wear (TLC). I love this show with every fashionable bone in my body. Unlike other makeover shows, when I’m finished watching WNTW, I feel like the recipient has learned her fashion lesson and will continue along the path of righteousness. Stacy and Clinton aren’t trying to make everyone into clones (though the striped blouse-sweater combo of 2004 was starting to get predictable), which means that there’s something new to learn each week. I keep waiting for a chocolate-eyed, pale-skinned girl to appear on the show so I can get shadow tips from Carmindy.

9. My Name is Earl (NBC). Damned Jason Lee and his damned Scientology. I thought he was so cool in Chasing Amy (even though it was Ben who stole my 20-year-old heart), and was shocked—shocked! —to discover he was a member of The Church. I really didn’t want to love this show, but Jamie Pressly, Ethan Suplee, the guy who plays Crabman, and even Xenu-loving Lee, made me a fan. It’s like having my beloved Roseanne back, it is!

8. The Comeback (HBO). Normally, I am so not a fan of embarrassment humour. I couldn’t watch Meet the Parents or There’s Something About Mary without feeling incredibly uncomfortable and awkward. Friends and family have met with my cold shoulder when they behaved like freaks in public. I just can’t handle scenes like that. Which makes my love of The Comeback just that much more inexplicable. Lisa Kudrow’s Valerie gets shat on, literally and figuratively, for 13 episodes, and I can’t look away. I don’t know that she was meant to be a sympathetic character, but she had me rooting for her from Episode 4. Rot that Paulie G!

7. Survivor/The Amazing Race. I’ve been watching Survivor since Mike fell into the fire in Season 2, but TAR is new for me this year. I started watching because Rob and Amber were on, and was in love. I caught up on the previous seasons over the summer, so even the terrible Family Edition (more milkmaids, you say? Whoda thunk there were so many farms in this vast and apparently boring country of ours? Also, shut up, Weavers.) couldn’t scare me away. Survivor had two very strong seasons this year. I’m thrilled Jeff signed on for more seasons. Stephenie as a host would have been awful.

6. The Block, (HGTV Canada, Channel Nine in Australia). My sister and father say this show is getting too personal and is losing its home renovation roots. I say that Australia’s most popular show ever is freaking awesome, and I can’t wait to see how lovely Jane looks at her and Matt’s wedding.

5. Scrubs (NBC). I almost forgot to add this show to the list, it's been so long since it was on. Come back to me, J.D.!

4. The Office (NBC). See above, re: Embarrassment. I found the British version of this show awkward, but this one is just too funny. As much as I love the principals (Dwight!), it’s the secondary characters that make this show so awesome. I think I have an Angela at my office, and I know I have a few Kevins. Even Creed, who we knew nothing about when Michael tried to fire him in October, is starting to become an integral part of this show. I have to say that I’m worried about Jim and Pam, tho. I just can’t see it happening without one of them leaving Dundler-Mifflin. It will be way too Cheers for my liking.

3. Arrested Development (Fox). I have to say that I had my worries as this season began. I got that Charlize Theron’s Rita was supposed to be slow, but the one thing that keeps this show from becoming farceical is its timing. Hold a beat for too long and the jokes aren’t that funny anymore. I was glad to see her go, and even gladder to see this family close back in on itself (“Hi, Uncle-Father Oscar!”). Last season started out loose and tightened up by the fourth or fifth episode, and this season is gearing up to do the same. If Showtime doesn’t pick this up after Fox finally cancels it, I will be one unhappy pappy. You know, if I were a guy.

2. Veronica Mars (UPN). Like you didn’t see this one coming.

1. Rome (HBO). This show has everything I love. Somewhat-accurate history, warfare, costumes, nakednes—and real, no-fooling, character development. These people love, hate, hurt and find pleasure in everyday things. I can hardly wait until 2007 to watch Octavian and Antony go Gaulish on Cicero and Brutus’s asses.

Honourable Mentions go to Frontline, The Daily Show, The First 48 and Family Plots. Who knew I liked so many shows? Okay, don’t answer that.