It’s been a bit of a struggle to get out of this bed this weekend. Maybe the eight wool blankets, comforters and quilts I have on it to battle the winter chill (yes, it was 20 degrees warmer than usual this week, what’s your point?) have finally flattened my body to such a degree that I have no muscles left?

With that in mind, allow me to present my favourite quotes from last week’s Scrubs, a show I now realize I’ve missed so hard it hurts.

From My Day at the Races

JD: “Look, I can’t just un-eVite everyone. I’ve already got two eYesses and 24 eMaybes—that’s a lot of eSponses!”

Turk (referring to JD’s “30 things to do before I turn 30” list): “Dude, you haven’t done anything on this list. How could you never have slept naked on a hammock?"
JD: “I’m afraid of dragonflies.”

Elliot (describing her sexual fantasy to her boyfriend): “Oh! If there’s a crow in there, fine; if not . . . I can live with it.”

From My Jiggly Ball

JD: “I’m gonna need you to go back in here and use some form of the word ‘die.’ ‘Dead,’ ‘dying,’ ‘deadsies,’ ‘deadwood.’ Your choice.”
Keith the Intern: “What was the middle one?”
JD: “Deadsies.”

Dr. Kelso: “Due to lack of funding, I’m shutting down our babymobile, which means there will no longer be prenatal care for underprivileged women. Bottom line: If you’re thinking about knocking up a homeless gal, I’d do it this weekend.”

Janitor: “You’re a bit of a know-it-all, aren’t you?”
JD: “Well, I know a lot.”
Janitor: “Yeah? Who was Deep Throat?”
JD: “Mark Felt, the FBI guy. It’s been all over the news for months.”
Janitor: “Well, sorry, rich boy. My TV doesn’t get the news. Just the Bible Channel and some kind of Chinese boxing.”

Elliot (on phone to a patient): “Yeah, I think I know this guy. Is he a cocky black doctor with a white doctor looking at him like he’s in love?”
JD (to Turk): “You would make a pretty girl.”

Nurse at Free Clinic: “Dr. Cole just got stabbed in the parking lot and we’re out of gauze. Is it cool if I take lunch?”

Elliot: “I’m proud? Carla, after the wedding you wouldn’t even take Turk’s name!”
Carla “I use it for official things.”
Elliot: “Letting him call you ‘Mrs. Turk’ in bed isn’t official.”

And that, my friends, is why I’m laying in bed at noon on a Sunday and not a writing sitcoms.