Lucille: "Apparently, mood-altering medication leads to street drugs. That's what this very handsome young doctor said on the Today Show."
Michael: "That was Tom Cruise, the actor."
Lucille: "They said he was some kind of scientist."

Lucille: "How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old clap-trap?"
Michael: (beat) "The cabin! Yes; well, that would be difficult too."

Gob: "Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it!"
Michael: "It tastes kinda like sad. . . ."

Michael: "Oh, my God. You're Oscar."
Oscar: "Dot com."

Michael: "Glad I didn't spring for colour."

Restaurant Manager: "Tuna melt's up. And you need to flip the cushions in the grind room."
Tobias: "Oh, great! Now I'm going to be smelling to high heaven like a tuna melt!"

Kitty:"Say goodbye to these."
Tobias: "Those are blue too!"

Gob: "I've made a huge tiny mistake.

Lucille: "Well, that was a freebie."