The funniest/most telling thing I heard today came from the May 9 episode of Loveline. A pregnant 17-year-old called to say that the father of her child had slept with her best friend. She claimed that when she called the friend in tears, the friend told her that she loved screwing the guy and would do it again. Adam and Drew thought that was only what she interpreted from the conversation—not what her friend actually said—and asked her again what the friend said.

Jessie: I asked her why did she do that to me. I said “You’re my best friend. I love you like a sister,” and she was like, “I don’t care.”
Dr. Drew: Wait, wait, wait. What were her actual words?
Adam: Let me explain. . . . Drew, do it to me. C’mon. I’ll tell you how it went.
Dr. Drew (as Jessie): I can’t believe you did this to me. I loved you like a sister. . . . You’re my best friend in the world. I can’t understand why you would do this. Why did you do this to me?
Adam (as Jessie’s best friend, but in a bored, nasally drone): Uhh . . . He was awesome. He nailed me. He banged the bejeesus out of me. I, uh, sucked him dry; and I would do it again.
Dr. Drew (as Jessie): But why? I don’t understand. I’m confused—
Adam (as Jessie’s best friend, but even boreder and more nasally): I would do it again.
Dr. Drew (as Jessie): But you’re my best friend. I love you like my sister!
Adam (as Jessie’s bored best friend): What time is it? I’d like to be doing it later on tonight. Uh, he was hot. He nailed me good. (As Himself) Yeah. That’s how it worked.
Dr. Drew: That’s what’s she said.
Adam: That’s exactly how it worked. Jessie called and said . . . “Sweetie, oh my—”
Dr. Drew: “What was that about?”
Adam: “What was that about, sweetie? You’re my best friend, and I love you like a sister.” And she was like: “Yeah, it was good, I’m gonna do it again.” No. She called screaming . . .
Dr. Drew: Screaming: “You bitch!” Yes.
Adam: . . . And she dropped the C Word, like, 70 times in a row. And the chick fired back with, “I’d do it again, too. It was good.”

Of course, the caller never admits that she may have freaked on her friend, which further perpetuated the belief that women, a) are heinous bitches who are out to destroy eachother; and b) only hear what they want to hear.

Listening to: Fleetwood Mac, Rumours. I never really listened to this after I turned five, but I'm starting to see why my dad was into it in the '70s.